Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
