Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
