what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
