Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
