What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
