I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
