i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
