I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
