Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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