You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Randomize
