If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize