my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
what day is it and did you see me today?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
