id be glad to
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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