It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
