Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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