forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
is wine microwaveable?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
ttyl tear gas
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Drunk is a universal language darling
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize