The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
