I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
