yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
