I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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