Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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