i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
