i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
