How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize