Can Purell be used as lube?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
this hospital has no fireball
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
