I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize