Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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