just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
