There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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