It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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