its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
