Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
