They should really pass out barf bags in church
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
