did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
