"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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