your parents love me but you hate me
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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