I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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