He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
