its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
