Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
