do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
my liver is dry heaving
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
