i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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