end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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