is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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