I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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