O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
