Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
