I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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