We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
