Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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