HIV tests are more positive than that guy
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
