Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
