My first STD was from a foam party
Your dad touched me again.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize