If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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