I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
