my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
