wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
