I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
