we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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