she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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