Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize