So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
